I can make any excuses I want but I’m where I am right now because of the choices I’ve made. I don’t like that place. There are less than two weeks until Boston and I can’t run without limping. I’ve learned, particularly with running, that you should only worry about what you can control and ignore the rest. You can’t control the weather. The same race held on the same day for years can be 25F with snow one year and 84F and humid the next year (Disney, I’m looking at you). You can run in the desert and have your shirt sleeve freeze solid (Las Vegas, that’s you).
I can’t change my past. I can’t take back that 80 mile week I had which may have led to this injury. I can’t take back running for 4 miles with a limp while continually hoping the pain would go away. I can’t go back and convince myself that the pain is real when I pretended that it was not.
Unfortunately I don’t feel like there is much left in my control. I can rest. I can see professionals that hopefully have the experience and knowledge to help me run a pain free race. I can try to stay positive when there is a real chance that things won’t turn out OK.
In the end this will just be another memory. Only time will tell if it will be a good memory or a bad one.