She's Really Nice!

As I started my run today this is approximately what happened.

As I climbed the stairs to the canal path I hear a woman shout “come OVER HERE!”  I thought to myself, “hmm is she talking to me?  She’s very aggressive…I like that!”  Of course I knew she was talking to her dogs.  I am not a dog lover.  In fact I don’t like dogs at all.  I didn’t like the idea that her dog(s) were not in her control.  But I stayed calm, and carried on.

I watched as first a little fluffy white thing came bounding up the stairs.  I thought, “it might scratch up my ankles but no biggie.”  Then a much bigger mutt came bounding behind it.  I grew more concerned.  I thought, “this thing is gentle but probably has a loud bark, I shall remain calm, until it barks at me.”

Then I saw the third dog.  The monster.  I’m no dog lover but I’ve come to learn to identify what I consider dangerous breeds.  Pitts scare that feces out of me.  This looked like a pitt, but a pitt on growth hormone.  My thoughts, “that’s a pitt, it’s going to eat me, it’s leashed but it will still eat me.  What should I do?  Here’s a little tree, I will climb the tree.”  And so I climbed the tree and raised myself about 18 inches off the ground.  Brilliant.  Now I put the fatty flesh of my calf at eye level of the carnivorous monster.

The owner turned out to be a cute young woman.  She said to me, as I stood in the tree, “oh, are you afraid of dogs?”  Me: “not really but that monster there frightens me and besides I really wanted to hug this tree here.”  As I talked to her and confirmed that the dog was not just a pitt but a mix of pitt and mastiff (and probably African Elephant as well)  the woman also told me that the dog “is very nice!”  As she told me how nice her monster was she let if off the leash.  Fantastic.  As the monster is roaming freely scowering for helpless infants to devour I learned that cute woman is a nurse.   Well that much was good.  At least when her monster tried to rip my face off she could give me mouth to mouth.

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